Been off for a while due to health issues and dealing with a Monster who aggravated my MD and Flashbacks.
Question: How Dangerous Can MD Be?
Answer: Very! If it’s not controlled and other factors are promoting it.
The situation: A Monster, MD and Flashbacks
A particular Monster called me up and said horrible things to me. These horrible things the Monster said threw me into flashbacks and MD double time.
Result: I almost crashed my car because my mind spun out of control while I was trying to drive. The flashbacks and double MD lasted 2 full weeks
What did the Monster say?: Oh the usual. I’ll never amount to anything….I’m good for nothing….I’ll never get anywhere in life……yadda yadda yadda.. Normal verbal abuse you’d expect from a horrible Monster.
How I handled it?
Well, I didn’t. I ended up behind the church in full tears. I did thank God that this was over the phone and not face to face otherwise I’d be in a Georgia Family Court Circuit in handcuffs with an aggravated assault charge.
What was I able to control over the 2 week hell?
I was able to recognize and decipher what was a flashback, what was MD, and what was reality. It was hard to do, it was exhausting, it was hard to focus, but I did it.
I did my affirmations by repeating the following: “I did not deserve this the Monster has the problem not me.” And “Dear God (or whoever you worship) remove the source of evilness from me and place it back on to the Monster.” (which actually happened. the monster is very unhappy now, sources say)
#3. Took Time
Took whatever time I needed, when I needed. I did subtle things such as going to the bathroom to deal with the emotions or stepping off into a quiet place or found a garden to visit with birds and trees.
#4. Breaking Contact
No more contact with the Monster! It won’t understand what it did or why I am having this problem. All it will do it blame me for feeling how I’m feeling. I don’t need that. Its been almost 1 month since I’ve had any association with it.
What will I do going forward should I encounter that individual?
Self improvement is the goal to improving MD and flashbacks along with acknowledgement and self-control. That person is still involved with the family so chances are I will run back into it. I have decided to be cordial and say hello and goodbye. I will have NO conversation or interaction other than that. If I am pushed into a situation that requires more activity I will excuse myself to make a phone call. Under no circumstances will I engage with someone who thrives on being self corrupt and wants to bring me down with them.