Disclaimer: I am not saying that 100% of the black community behaves this way. I am saying that there are too many people behaving this way.
I know I will take heat for this but, here we go. This is written purposely to do three things.
#1. To clearly state that white people cannot be blamed for child abuse in the black community.
#2. To anger the black community to taking action to stop child abuse in the black community and stop perceiving it as a joke or something to put on social media to scar the child.
#3. To show the cycle of abuse in the black community stemming from un-education and improper role models.
There is a difference between discipline and abuse.
Situation. A child breaks a glass. Result. Keep glasses away from the child and give him plastic cups.
Example with a black child:
Situation. A child breaks a glass. Result. Scream at him, push his head into a wall, and throw the plastic cup at his head and then why he cries yell at him to shut up.
I did not make these examples up. I have seen them with my own eyes over and over again in the black community.
The Slave Mentality and Child Abuse
Child Abuse in the black community has many more layers than child abuse in the white community. Why you ask? Because the black experience in America is different from the white experience. (I know, play the violin here)
However, is there a point?
The slave mentality of some black people plays a large role in how the children are treated or mistreated. Let’s go way way back to the slave plantation.
1794 – 1865
Black children were treated differently than white children on the slave plantation. White kids were highly privileged while black kids went without any and everything. Pretty clear cut. Right?
The black children were also abused more by the white slave master than the white children. Black children were not seen as human and received brutal bloody beatings at the hands of the white slave owner. It was accepted by all.
That theory is clean and simple. Right?
Slave Mentality and Child Abuse in the Black Community Today. 2014.
What we are dealing today are the side effects and aftermath of the two truths above. Slaves saw how the Master treated the slave children. Most slaves had to remain silent out of fear. They had no choice except to stand by and watch the master beat their children sometimes to death. The 1 slave owner was a bad role model. That is true.
But what about all of the thousands of black people from 1865-2014 that had a chance to change that view, the mentality, and the belief system and save the kids? Aren’t they to blame more so than 1 slave owner?
This is the point of my blog.
1866 – now
Lets move forward in time. Being free meant that the children are now in your custody and no longer your slave masters. What role model of parenting did the slave have before he was free? If you said the slave master I would agree with you. The newly freed slave is going to treat his/her child the same way the slave master treated the children. After all, it was widely accepted at that time and that mentality was conditioned into the slaves. The newly freed people began beating their kids as they’d seen the master do. This was done out of out of learned ignorance.
Self Esteem and Worthiness
The newly freed slave wanted to have power and feel important. Having to prove themselves as humans and wanting to be equal was a goal. After being freed they found themselves still having no power over anything except for the children.
So what happened?
The cycle of abuse against black children in the black community that started with the example of one white slave owner continued. The children and grandchildren of the freed slaves beat their children and grandchildren.
Bruises were acceptable, as well as, black eyes, broken bones, and in some cases blood or missing teeth. Beating the kids in this brutal manner became a norm in the black community and was not looked down upon.
It was acceptable and it is still being accepted today. It is being posted on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, sent by email, Twitter, video chat and everything else. Other black people watch the child being beat and instead of alerting DFCS, it is laughed at and encouraged.
Why? So that other black people’s belief system that black children should be disciplined in a horrendous manner can continue being validated.
Remember, black children were not seen as human during slavery and the beatings were brutal. If this behavior is continuing in 2014 then what does this say about our views of our black children?
If a black child in a black community tells other black people they are being beaten and shows the bruises it is disregarded. Some of the responses that black child will receive from other black people including the following:
1. I got beat too when I was a kid
2. Those bruises will heal
3. You shouldn’t have done it
4. They had to beat you otherwise you won’t learn
5. That’s the only way black kids learn is through a beating
6. So what. Grow up.
7. Stop the whining and toughen up you’re too soft and sensitive
8. Everybody gets hit why should you be any different
9. (my all time favorite) If they didn’t love you they wouldn’t beat you
10. Be good and act right and you won’t get beat. Now shut up and get out of my face.
If a black child goes to his/her black school and complains of the abuse to the black officials at that black school he/she will be faced with the following:
1. Flat out ignored
2. They tell the parents what the child said and the child then goes home to another beating for saying something
3. Told to suck it up and quit whining it ain’t that bad
4. Told to go back to class
5. (my all time favorite) Pray about it and it will stop
6. If you love Jesus enough he’ll make it stop
If a black child goes to other black family members and complains of the abuse he/she is faced with the following:
1. Grandparents that agree with their son or daughter against the grandchild
2. Aunts and uncles who do not want to go against their brother or sister so they chastise the child for saying something
3. Cousins who do not know the gravity of the situation and make fun of the beatings or bruises
4. Siblings who look at him/her crazy because they’re getting beat too and think this is normal and not to be questioned.
If a black child goes to any police station and complains of ongoing abuse to authorities he/she is faced with the following:
1. The police tell the parents what the child said and the child is sent home to another beating for saying something
2. The statement can’t be taken without the parent present. The parent has to confirm that they did beat the child. (like that’s really going to happen)
3. The child is told to stop being a brat and a little discipline never hurt anybody
4. You’ll never make it in this world being this sensitive
5. (My all time favorite and definite Trigger Words) Grow up
Is any of this fair to an innocent child?
Black children that are abused by black parents/grandparents grow up to be adult survivors of child abuse. Only they don’t know it. They’ve been conditioned to believe that this is the right thing to do. So they continue the cycle based on this living belief system.
So What Happens To Abused Black Children That Grow Up And Cannot Function In Society?
They become abusers themselves to other people, systems, and definitely towards children and small animals. Gangs, Drugs, Jail, Repeated Pregnancies, Dependencies, Counseling, Moving away and never coming back, and Refusal to speak to family members and the list goes on
What Emotional Instability Occurs In These Black Adults?
Constant Anger, Constant confusion, Low self-esteem, Low self-worth, Flashbacks, Reacting to years of on-going humiliation, On the defense 24/7, Overly Religious past the point of fanaticism, or others keep asking “what is the problem?”
**All children want is to feel loved and accepted. When a child grows up in an abusive environment those basic needs are not being met. When a child grows up in an environment where the abuse is acceptable due to skin color, then whose helping the child?**
The beating of black children is a learned and conditioned behavior in the black community. Its considered to be perfectly normal.
We as a black community have had too much time to change and too many missed opportunities to change this way of thinking and behavior. Failing our kids by siding with traditional messed up values and screwed up belief systems is not producing happy productive people.
Its producing 1 off’s like me who dare to come on to a wordpress blog and speak openly about one of the biggest ignored child abuse problem in the Black Community. It’s a closet kept shameful secret. People like me are in a 1% category. People like me take heat for daring to expose the fact that most black people CHOOSE to turn a blind eye, and CHOOSE to have deaf ears to the cries of a child who doesn’t like to be abused.
The comments I’ve received from black people off of this board almost had me committing black on black crime. Which incidentally is a result of a messed belief system which is why I refuse to do it. I just had to walk away.
Black on black violence, black crime, and black men and women in jail cannot be blamed on white people or a past slave owner from over 150 years ago.
The blame lies on Black People who choose to fail the children with outdated ignorant values and then ignore the cries of the children while you are actively failing them! Then when they fail themselves fingers are pointed in every direction except for where it should be. The parents that failed them.
Where does it end?
Is anyone offended by this?
You need to be offended enough to take action and stop this kind of abuse and change this kind of thinking!
Failing a child, and then blaming the child for failure is for lack of a better term, stupid.
Stop failing these kids before they even have a chance to succeed!
Stop blaming white people for you failing your black child
Stop the cycle of slave mentality where black children are not seen as human
Stop the belief system that its, “okay” if black children are beat to injuries or death
Stop putting videos of you beating your child on Social Media! It’s not cute! Its shameful, ignorant, bullying behavior and it’s harmful to the child!