Consider this list for a second for a black American girl aged 12-17.
A young black girl starts her menstrual cycle as early as 9 and as late as 17.
Her parent/guardian teaches her nothing about reproduction.
She’s simply told “don’t get pregnant” and that’s all the instruction she receives.
While this is going on she has being abused physically, mentally, emotionally and maybe touched inappropriately by male family members.
She has not been told or taught the correct way of what should happen in a relationship.
Nor has she been taught how to handle her menstrual cycle or what to do.
What does this produce?
Low self esteem.
Lack of knowledge about her own body and how it works.
An abandonment issue due the abuse and lack of help to stop it.
And the idea that she is unlovable.
Grades suffer and she eventually drops out of school.
What does she want?
Someone or something to love.
To feel important to somebody.
To prove to the world that she can love and be loved.
What does she do?
Seeks out thugs, gang members and boys that mistreat her.
Tries to change them to love her.
Let them do anything they want to, to her, so she can receive the love.
Finds out she’s pregnant.
The boy dodges responsibility which further increases her abandonment issue.
What happens next?
She’s overjoyed that she will finally have someone to love and who will love her back.
Due to her age and the guy(s) leaving she has to go on welfare and gov’t programs to take care of the child.
Loves the baby unconditionally after he/she arrives.
The goal is temporarily accomplished with producing someone who loves and depends on her.
Not knowing she has several issues at this point she chooses non suitable boys again. Not men. Boys.
Has several more babies with different boys who continue to abandon.
Each baby satisfies her abandonment issue until he/she starts to talk and think on his own.
The older kids are ignored while the focus is on the new baby.
Does she ever learn?
Some do, some don’t.
Those who do not learn
The ones that do not learn serve as a role model for their daughters to repeat the cycle and after 60 years there are 3 generations of women on welfare. She won’t take the father for child support because she can’t find him. He’s gone on to get other girls pregnant and abandoned them as well. Or she refuses to report him so that he can work and she can receive the welfare check and have a ‘double income’. She simply states to Child Support Services, “I don’t know who the father is”. This stops them from looking for him even though he’s usually in the parking lot with the car running while she’s inside lying.
Those who do learn
For the ones who do learn they take care of the child, get an education, join programs to develop themselves, learn about their bodies and seek help for what went wrong. They usually succeed but realize that 1) the baby is not just a cute toy 2) they were too young for all of that 3) they choose better guys that have a future 4) they may get married and have more children with someone who is able to support or help support her.
There are several other scenarios other than what I have presented here. Young black girls who are abused and ignored are 5 times more likely to get pregnant and end up on government assistance.
These girls are not just in impoverished areas. They are in well to do families, middle class income homes, million dollar homes, apartments trailers and span across all income levels.
These girls need education about their bodies, education about the guys bodies, and education about what should be correct in a relationship. They also need to know the difference between a boy and a man.
More than anything else they need protection from these type of monsters that initially hurt her and the continuing monsters that abuse after she’s out of the initial situation.
It’s a learned mindset for these girls that has been taught by others at birth. They don’t need to be judged. They need help.