Coming up. Part 3. Why abuse against children is ignored in the black community.
Why mental problems are not addressed in the Black Community.
Here is a quick list. I will explain afterwards.
- You’re not supposed to air dirty family laundry.
- If there is family problem then the family is supposed to solve it. Not people outside the family.
- You’re supposed to pray about it and Jesus will make it stop.
- There is a preconception that if you go to a counselor that you are crazy. Therefore, you are shunned, shamed and talked about negatively.
- Nobody wants to admit there is a problem.
- The excuse, “everybody is different” is used quite a bit in the black community to justify somebody acting a straight fool.
- The warning signs are either not known, known and ignored, or excused away by saying the person either has demons, hates Jesus, or Satan has a hold of them and he must be rebuked
- Parents do not want to admit there is a problem with their parent, child, or themselves. Because then they have to deal with it.
- If a school or any institution brings up the fact that a child has a mental problem the parent either skips town, or files against the school because she is offended that this was said about her child
- Selfishness. Getting hair and nails done, or playing basketball, is more important than spending money and time on the child or person’s mental health.
- Shame and humiliation. If anybody finds out there is a problem with a family member they run the risk of being talked about and embarrassed in front the community and worse than that, the church. So it’s not talked about to save face for the family.
- The family thinks it’s just that one person that has a problem. They do not see the bigger picture that it’s the whole family that has the problem. So they secretly shame that one person in the family and tell him/her to stop the behavior. But they don’t seek help for that person.
- The age old phrase, “that’s how God wants him/her to be. If he wanted him/her different he’d a done it”
- Extreme ignorance, won’t listen, set in ways, and just not wanting to face reality.
- Hide behind religion. “Well we just have to pray on it.”
- I’m sure there a plenty of black people heated up right now at this list because it describes them and their family accurately.
Religion plays a very big role in most black households. If it’s not in the Bible then we don’t pay attention to it. Hiding behind religion is the way to blame it on God and not on themselves for leaving the problem be. Praying about it and doing nothing about it are 2 different things, yet, some black people roll it all into one.
Most of the list has an underlying shame behind it. To try to talk to these people would be the same as talking to a broken pencil. Its not going to listen, will not give response, and doesn’t care what you are saying. One person’s pride seems to be the next person’s downfall without shame in the black community. And it is this way because shame is used to protect shame. If you can follow that dysfunctional statement then you’ve understood the list and concept behind why mental help is so hard to find in the black community.
The whole statements: “You’re not supposed to air dirty family laundry.” and “If there is family problem then the family is supposed to solve it. Not people outside the family.” Are severely flawed. How can the family solve problem if the family won’t even admit to a problem. That’s backwards and wrong. The family is turning a blind eye to problem. So outside help would be needed. Anybody making these statements is disillusioned.
Wiling and chosen ignorance plays a really big role in the black community. They don’t know and they don’t want to know. To know means action must be taken. It’s easier to leave it be so you don’t have to do anything extra.
Meanwhile where does that leave the person who needs help?