Welcome to The Healing Project.
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Today’s rant, vent, healing or whatever you’d like to call it. People who bring up your past in a crowd just to humiliate you.
We’ve all been in a situation 20 , 30, 40, sometimes 80 years later where somebody has to bring up the past for the sole purpose of 1. Getting a reaction out of you, 2. To upstage or ruin your credibility, 3. Just for kicks and giggles, and other “laugh to till you pee” fun, 4. Just to humiliate you or 5. They don’t know you still have a problem with the past and generally feel bad when you tell them.
Number 5 is a very slim margin of 0.00000001%.
99.999999% of the time its usually numbers 1 – 4.
For those of you who are familiar with me you know there’s going to be a short story because I love to do creative writing. The names, dates, and locations have been changed to protect ME! This story is in 3 stages. It will span from 1975 through 2014.
1975. Susie is 5 years old lives in Cincinnatti Ohio with her parents. Susie’s family decides to go to French Lick Springs Indiana to visit relatives. While going down Interstate 64 West during a thunderstorm the car slides and hits a median. Susie wets herself and vomits from being scared. Otherwise she has no injuries.
1985. Susie is now 15 years old and is sick and tired of her father beating her up. She isn’t having anymore of it. Susie gets a baseball bat and goes to bed with it waiting for her father to come bother her so she can fight him off. Her father enters her room as expected and catches Susie with the bat. He begins to slap Susie around the room and she wields the baseball bat. He grabs it from her and she runs to the police. The police send her back home to her father who thinks its all a joke. “Where did you think you were going with that little girl!” He says mockingly. Her father and police officer talk and laugh for hours while Susie is upset.
2014. Susie is now 44 years old. She’s married with 2 kids and holds a job. She has not spoken to her father in over 10 years because she hates him. She goes back to Cincinnatti for a cousins funeral. Her father is at this funeral. At the grave site he decides to tease Susie over past events.
“Hey Susan, remember that time we wrecked on I64 and you pissed yourself!” He laughs outloud while other family members laugh with him. “Remember that time you tried to hit me with a baseball bat and you ended up in the police car!” He laughs again and points at Susie. Susie is beyond upset.
She’s been put on the spot, public humliated over things that happened 29 and 39 years ago for no apparent reason. Her father is still choosing to abuse her emotionally and presenting mental cruelty. And at a funeral no less. Susie decides its time to fight back.
“Since your sorry unemployed old decrepid @$$ has nothing better to do than bring up events from almost 40 years ago then maybe you need to get life or join HIM!” Points to the coffin. “Since you have none! All of the abuse you put me through for years on end when I was a child, publicize THAT why don’t you! The 70’s and 80’s are over CHUMP!”
Susie proceeds to publicize to the crowd all wrong doings of her father towards her. The crowd says nothing while Susie is ranting. She then yells at the crowd. “All of you losers with smirks on your face knew all about these abuses and you did absolutely NOTHING to stop it! Not a d**n THING! May you ALL burn in hell and I hope its the hottest part!!” Susie gets her husband and kids and leaves angrily.
Did Susie handle this properly. Probably not. But what else was she supposed to do? She’s confronted her abuser several times in the past but he doesn’t it. She’s cut the abusers out of her life and tried to heal from it. She has tried to go on with her life and provide for herself and her family and help her kids to become productive citizens and now this.
The sad part about all of this is that there are actually family members who are on Susie’s side but they say nothing for the fear of being ousted by the majority. They understand Susie, they feel Susie and they know she’s telling the truth.
Everybody handles situations differently. Susie is full of anger and resentment over this abuse so this is how she handles hers. Right or wrong can we really judge? What do you do in this situation?